The Art of Self Awareness

What is Self Awareness?

Self-awareness is one of those yawn-inducing phrases. Seriously, didn’t your eyes glaze over when you saw it? Maybe you even had the thought, “Geez oh man, why can’t she write about something funny today? I’m not in the mood to wade through a post about THIS! Doesn’t she know it’s a Monday?”

Or maybe you had a different thought.

Do you know what you thought was when you saw the phrase “self awareness”? Knowing your reaction to that phrase (and any other phrase) is self awareness.

When you are self aware, you are aware of your thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations and you understand them. When you are self aware, you sense how you react to the world around you—and you understand that reaction.

That’s it. It sounds easy enough, but most people are anything but self-aware. This is is probably because we live in a society that teaches us to self soothe by distracting ourselves from our inner world. The constant distraction of email, television, Facebook, Twitter, work, voice mail, idle chatter, and loud music causes many of us to be completely out of touch with our bodies, minds and emotions.

Are You Out of Touch, Too?

You might be out of touch if you:

1. Frequently get angry and don’t know why

2. Dislike various people and don’t know why

3. Are often sore (headaches, stomach aches, backaches, neck aches) and don’t know why

4. Feel as if your actions are out of your control. You find yourself doing things on autopilot—lashing out in anger, gulping down second helpings, checking email when you are supposed to be doing something else.

These are all signs that you are not aware of how your thoughts and beliefs affect your emotions and bodily sensations and vice versa.

Why Self Awareness Matters

There are many reasons, but here are just a five.

1. When you understand yourself, you can more easily understand others.

2. When you understand yourself, you can more easily and effectively communicate your needs and desires to others.

3. When you understand yourself, you can more easily understand your negative and at times scary emotions like anger, rage, hopelessness, irritability, and shame—and you will more easily find ways to do something about them.

4. When you understand yourself, you’ll be better able to solve problems in your marriage because you will better understand the role you play in those problems.

5. When you understand yourself, you find it easier to practice the arts of self-acceptance, self-control and self-leadership (parts 2, 3 and 4 of this series).

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